In September I went to lunch with a good friend and in addition to much laughter and putting the world to rights, we touched on the tricky topic of expectations and what they meant for us in the context of writing.
After we parted I found myself wanting to unpick what expectation means to me. A quick look in the dictionary gave the following definitions – looking forward; anticipating; hoping – all positive.
Hold on I thought – are all my expectations positive? The honest answer is no. In the past I have set myself up to fail so many times mainly because I have set myself unrealistic goals or been trying to live up to other people’s expectations.
It has been a while since I updated this blog and in the past the rubber mallet would definitely have been deployed by now! What is different this time, is that writing is something I really want to do – for me.
I haven’t written every day as I had pledged on the return trip from Lumb Bank, but I have thought about plots and stories every day and some of my better ideas will come to fruition one day. Since my last post I have been to poetry readings – Carol Ann Duffy at Tideswell Arts Festival was a particular highlight. I have been to a Spoken Words Evening where the group sat and read one another’s work aloud. It was so good to hear writers bring their own interpretation to other’s work, including mine.
In December, I am looking forward to starting a fortnightly Play Writing workshop at the Royal Exchange in Manchester. I also have the opportunity to volunteer at my local Museum as a digital hero for different collection pieces. I have swapped ideas and encouragement with my nearest writing friend at Scarthin Books in Cromford. They have an excellent cafe for when you need to stop browsing and re-hydrate!
Finally, next week I go to Halifax to see a play written by my tutor from Lumb Banks – Stephen May, before then meeting up with more writing friends the following day.
Could I be doing more writing? Yes, absolutely, but I am finally embarking on a journey I have yearned for, for nearly all my adult life.
My expectations….. well, I see good times ahead, especially now the rubber mallet has been decommissioned!
Becoming a writer 
April, I just read something about Franz Kafka and how he needed space (time) to clear his head so he could write. He resented hs daytime occupation because it did not give him this time but sapped his energies. Writing is a struggle and that’s ok. We do what we do. We do it for ourselves. And if we enjoy it, then that is enough; and if somehow our writing is more than for ourselves and others get it and get something from it, then that is what it is and being that does not make it anything more than what it was when it was being written for just ourselves. I think there was a British Airways advert that had as its tagline something about it being all about the journey – as opposed to the destination. Enjoy the journey and let the destination take care of itself.
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Thanks Douglas. That definitely resonates with me.
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